.Bla bla Things About Me.

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I thought I'm just gonna say that I'm a simple girl in this complicated world, but I think it's just what I want to be - a simple person.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

.Conversation.

I'm kinda tired of meaningless correspondence. Sometimes meeting a new person is fun, sometimes it doesnt. As a single fighter for God-knows-how-long-I-had, I think I already achieved the worst shit ever happened in a single life. Nope, i was wrong.

I did pass some shitty Valentine's Days, which everyone filled with love expression all around them.
I did pass few lonely Birthdays without anyone for cherishing the day.
I did pass the deepest dark-and-empty hole ever created in a human kind's heart.

I passed them, and I proudly survived.
Not only survived, I deal with them.

Before my 20s, I confess, I did not deal with them.

I saw Valentine's Day as a advertising propaganda by chocolate and flowers factory. I did believe everyday is Valentine's Day, but I learned that if there's a day celebrated for remind us to pay a little attention for someone we loved, why not?

I saw Birthday as a really important thing in my life, as my whole current year's happiness was cummulated on that day. But I learned that life's lessons was more than happiness, it was cummulative from your happiness, sadness and other's feeling that you had, and how you reacted with all that, that's the lesson.

I saw myself being up and down, mostly down, and found myself in that hole again. But I learned that we should being "Down", for there's "Up" moment in our life. And we will really feel blessed with that moment.

And now, I think I've achieved a great grade for my life's quality. Well, I still dont know how to cook, but I combined it with my bersih2 skill :P I still doesnt look astonishing like Jennifer Aniston or any of the Hollywoood stars, but I keep myself at the best condition I can :) I think I did a great life.

But now, my balanced life is kinda ruined. My fams and friends are seeing me as a too stand alone person. And I am not blaming them for that. Anyhoo, some of them are trying to change that fact. They want to see me more....hmm what's the word for it? bergantung pada orang lain, too be exact. Gosh, even writing this made me giggle, bergantung? I know how to lean with man, but I dont want it right now.

It's like you know you have to eat to continue your life, the food is served on the table, all you have to do is grab your fork and dig in, but you dont want it eventhough the food is really tempting. Have you ever felt the same way with me? I hate to start meaningless basa-basi things [I'm really not good for this type of activity], replying text messages [God know I only want to babi2an on my bed all night long], playing the tarik ulur game [Some people said I'm kinda good at this :P], showing my interest on random topic spoken by other game's player [totally depends on my mood], aghhhh I know even when I'm writing this, I looked like I'm not thanking God for whatever happens in my life -__-

I just...dont ready for grabbing a spoon.
Or maybe i'm ready.
But it's not the right dish.

1 comment:

a seeker said...

hmmm iye me, coba skali skali klo lagi seneng isi blognya.. hwhwhwhw.. bergantung, rely on
basa basi, wishy washy klo ga salah, tapi besok gw liat lagi encarta gw yaw :D